31st October, 1931 – 24th December, 2024
Music on Entry- In the Mood, Glenn Miller
A wonderful piece of music to open with and possibly something you wouldn’t expect to hear at a funeral, but then this isn’t something as sombre as that, this is a celebration of life, Jeffrey’s life and just some of what he brought into yours.
Good afternoon and welcome to this ceremony to mark the life, loves and involvements of Jeffrey Bowles. My name is Philip, Philip Davies I am a Funeral Celebrant and it’s my privilege to be leading this ceremony today.
We tend to see occasions such as these as being about what we’ve lost in the death of a loved one, rather than what we’ve gained by having them in our lives. By the very nature of having shared your lives with Jeffrey means your lives have become entwined together. His impact upon you all is unquestionable, after all, none of you would be here were it not for him.
Equally, it’s easy to focus on your sadness over Jeffrey’s death, rather than the happiness of remembered good times. At times like these, it feels as though sadness is all we’ll ever feel when we think about a lost loved one, whereas that isn’t the case. That sadness will always be there, you’ll simply learn to grow around it, so it doesn’t hurt so much.
This won’t be a long and drawn out occasion, Jeffrey wouldn’t have wanted that. And although it doesn’t follow a set religious pattern, much like Jeffrey, it welcomes all and so there will be a period of thought and reflection that those of you with a faith are welcome to use in a way that suits you best.
Although he was born in London, it wasn’t long before the family moved to Norfolk
and it was here that Jeffrey spent his formative years. He was one of two children born to Charles and Ivy and had a brother, 11 years younger than him in David.
Although there was a gap of some years between Jeffrey and his brother, he still made an impression on David who spoke of the enormous model planes made out of balsa wood Jeffrey made.
As he made his way through formal education, Jeffrey moved to a King Edward VI school in Norfolk and then subsequently continued his studies at London University where he studied veterinary medicine. It wasn’t just academia which kept him entertained, he was also a keen and talented rugby player and not only played for his college, but also Norwich rugby team and Thetford too.
Jeffrey certainly made an impression on those around him. Whilst at school, he’d badly broken the finger of his rugby coach, Reverend Bowden and David recalled seeing his still bend finger years later when he attended the same school. Jeffrey and David remained close throughout their lives, indeed David and parents lived with Jeffrey and family (which we’ll come to shortly) for a little while whilst they had a house built for them.
Jeffrey was also an extremely active cyclist and whilst at college, alongside the rugby, he also raced around the Norwich velodrome. He’s also think nothing of cycling to Norfolk and David spoke of how he saw Jeffrey riding from London to Somerset on one occasion too!
Having graduated from university, Jeffrey continued with veterinary science and started work at McLintocks a practice in Norwich. Here, he did a bit of everything but gained a particular interest in larger animals. However, his career was interrupted when, like many able bodied men at the time, Jeffrey was called up to do National Service, which he completed before university and saw him gaining a one year exemption from his studies.
Although he didn’t speak about his time in the forces in any great detail, Jeffrey did share how he was based within the Vet Corp as a dog handler and spent some time in Egypt. He also said how he enjoyed his time and built a good rapport with the dogs he trained. This was a little ironic his son, Ben said, as his father never trained any of the dogs the family had!
Whilst at college, Jeffrey met Judith, the lady he would fall in love with and marry and they soon started a family welcoming six children to the world, these being: Nick, Ben, Tim, Sue, Jon and Sally. It would seem that Jeffrey was lucky to make it this far considering how he’d bought his wife an ancient hand pumped vacuum cleaner when she’d mentioned she’d like a hoover. She didn’t see the funny side until he pulled out the electric one he’d also bought.
Jeffrey enjoyed surprising the family. The full sized dalek he built for the children one Christmas being another prime example! Especially as he’d told everyone that he was making a laundry basket!
Life was somewhat nomadic as Jeffrey’s job took him not only around the country, but the world! He bought into a veterinary partnership at a practice near Inverness, however when things turned out to be not all they seemed, he left. One of the terms of the partnership was an agreement not to open a rival practice within 5 years of leaving. Instead, Jeffrey took the most of family around the world to South Africa. Nick by this time was at university and so stayed in the UK.
The job was nothing if not varied. Jeffrey took up a position with an abattoir, which he hated and also a job at Johannesburg Zoo, which was far more to his liking. Jeffrey always enjoyed working with exotic animals and spent some time looking after a young primate at the zoo.
A chance encounter at a vet conference brought about the next chapter of Jeffrey’s career. Having spoken to a couple of people from Botswana, he was encouraged to apply for a post, which he did. Once again, Jeffrey found himself working at an abattoir, but after a little while, he moved to Francistown as a vet officer and then continued to become the Chief Tsetse Officer and was based in Maun.
The descriptions of the resources behind Jeffrey’s role sounded tremendous and he had access to a wide range of vehicles, even a hovercraft at one point! Jeffrey put them all to good use and helped to develop techniques for eradicating the tsetse fly from the area and every year he would organise an aerial spraying programme, something which led to Ben and Jon becoming interested and involved with aviation themselves.
The job was contract based, so every two or three years, Jeffrey and Judith would return to the UK for three months whilst new contracts were negotiated. They maintained their connection with Scotland, having a house at Abriachan.
Jeffrey fully embraced life overseas and whilst at Maun he helped to rebuild Matlapaneng Bridge, visited a local hostelry called Crocodile Camp by helicopter and also taught himself how to scuba dive in a local pool! His legacy lived on in the drink he had named after him by Lyndsey Birch, the proprietor of said Croc Camp- the Jeff Bowles!
Then there were special events such as Parrot Christmas (which took place in June) where everyone would head out into the bush to celebrate. New Year’s Day was another special occasion and everyone would get together for the annual raft race. In reality this wasn’t much of a race, more of an excuse to have some fun and a few drinks. Jeffrery seemed to take it a little more seriously and one time hid an outboard motor on his homemade bathtub boat!
He wasn’t averse to using what came to hand. The kitchen table at home occasionally became a makeshift operating table for small animals and the swimming pool an impromptu crocodile tank!
When it came to retirement, Jeffrey not only planned for his own, but also those around him and he had set up a savings account for the family housemaid- Mabasabi so she could buy a house once they’d left.
After a short spell in Aberdeenshire whilst Jeffrey worked as a private vet for a large commercial pig farm, he and Judith fully retired to Abriachan, near Inverness. They stayed here for a little while, where they were very active members of a very social community. There were regular games nights and numerous productions at the village hall, where they both participated, until Judith’s health began to fail as she developed COPD.
Jeffrey committed himself to looking after his wife and became her carer. Although they loved their property in Inverness, it was becoming too unwieldy and difficult to maintain, so looking to downsize, they moved to Montgomery in Wales as the environment was more suitable.
Judith’s death in 2008 saw Jeffrey returning to Scotland. He built an annex next to his son, Tim and settled into Balvicar, becoming self sufficient and self contained as he did so. Although he was no longer working as a vet, Jeffrey found plenty to keep him occupied. He volunteered for a couple of years at the local museum in Ellenabeich, giving information and sometimes made up stories to the tourists. He enjoyed gardening and was also keen on growing bonsai trees too.
Over time the family grew further and Jeffrey became a loving and very much loved grandad to Nick’s two: Jeff and Adam; Ben’s sons Chay and Kyle; Jon’s two children: Rayan and Adam and Sally’s son, Matthew. Jeffrey loved to see them and, although having the family spread around the UK made it tricky, he was always delighted when he did so.
As his health and mobility started to decline, so Jeffrey took the decision to move to a care home. Looking into what would be equidistant between everyone, he moved to Telford.
There seemed to be some co-incidence in Jeffrey’s death on the 24th December as he’d been born on October 31st (albeit some years previous!) and he always enjoyed an big occasion- parrot Christmas and the New Year raft race being good examples of this. He had a great sense of fun- from getting Santa tanked up and mixing up the children’s stockings, to downing a bottle of Cointreau which he’d poured into an oversized wine glass, there are plenty of stories to be told too.
Jeffrey had the good fortune to live on this planet for over 93 years and would have seen things and enjoyed experiences we’ll likely not see again. In many ways, we are a collection of memories. We live on in the minds and imagination of those who love us. The stories you’ve heard are only just the tip of the iceberg! So continue doing what you’ve already been doing: speaking of Jeffrey, sharing your thoughts and memories of him and the smiles that come with the sharing.
As mentioned at the start of this ceremony- death presents a choice. You can lose yourselves in your sadness, or celebrate all that Jeffrey brought into your lives. To quote him directly with one of his favourite phrases: ‘Now what?’ The answer is down to you.
Jeffrey was a precious stone, a diamond, and I mean that not only in how he was highly valued, but also in how different people would have known a different aspect of him. The Jeffrey his colleagues knew would have been subtly different to the one his friends did and different again to the Jeffrey his family knew and loved. In many ways, we are a collection of peoples’ impressions of us we live on in memories made and moments shared.
As we now come to a period of thought and reflection, it’s your memories of Jeffrey I encourage you all to turn to. It may be you wish to share them with those sat nearby, you may prefer to keep them to yourselves, please do whatever feels best for you.
If there are prayers you’d like to say, then please do say them, or remember and give thanks for Jeffrey’s life in a way that best suits your beliefs, but however it is you chose to use this time, I shall leave you to your thoughts.
Music for Reflection- The Bells of St Mary’s Bing Crosby
Thank you all for your thoughts
There comes a time when for each of us, all this will come to an end. But our impact upon the world and lives of those around us doesn’t. Much like a stone cast into a pond we may slip from sight, but we all leave ripples behind in our wake. Look for those Jeffrey leaves in your lives.
Don’t see what we’re coming to now as an end of things, and don’t see it as a goodbye either, but instead, perhaps see it as three things. It’s an acceptance, an acknowledgment, and a promise.
It’s an acceptance that Jeffrey’s life has now come to an end. An acknowledgement of how he will always be there in stories told and laughter shared. And finally, it’s a promise to do what Jeffrey would want you to do- love and support each other and to move forward with your own lives.
And it’s with these thoughts in mind, if you’re able, would you all please stand.
Release the physical presence of Jeffrey Bowles knowing that this is all you are letting go of. Everything he did, the memories he created, the love he shared hasn’t been lost in any way, it is still as valuable as it ever was because it was of value to each of you.
Honour Jeffrey’s life with your own. And although, yes there is sadness, there is gratitude for the privilege of having shared life with him. Store the love you shared in your hearts and hold your precious memories of him close.
With love, wish him rest at the end of his days.
With affection, leave him to his peace.
And with respect bid Jeffrey a loving farewell.
Committal Poem- Have a Nice Day by Spike Milligan
‘Help, help, ‘ said a man. ‘I’m drowning.’
‘Hang on, ‘ said a man from the shore.
‘Help, help, ‘ said the man. ‘I’m not clowning.’
‘Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I’ve got a disease.
I’m waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.’
‘How long, ‘ said the man who was drowning.
‘Will it take for the Doc to arrive? ‘
‘Not very long, ‘ said the man with the disease.
‘Till then try staying alive.’
‘Very well, ‘ said the man who was drowning.
‘I’ll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.’
‘Help, help, ‘ said the man with the disease,
‘I suddenly feel quite ill.’
‘Keep calm.’ said the man who was drowning,
‘Breathe deeply and lie quite still.’
‘Oh dear, ‘ said the man with the awful disease.
‘I think I’m going to die.’
‘Farewell, ‘ said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, ‘goodbye.’
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease passed away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It’s been a very nice day
Farewell, Jeffrey. Farewell and thank you for all you brought into the world and for all you gave to the lives of those around you.
Now with love, go in peace.
Thank you. Please do take your seats once again.
And so we are now approaching the end of this ceremony and will soon be leaving through those doors over there to your left. At the end of the corridor behind those doors, just as you enter the flower court, you’ll see a box for donations. These will be gathered together and given to Cancer Research UK. Please do give whatever you feel you can, and the family would like to say thank you for whatever that may be.
You are welcome to spend a little time in the flower court as you wish but be aware that there is a warm welcome waiting for you at the Corbett Arms in Uffington, where you’ll find light refreshments and another opportunity to share some of your memories, as well as hearing those precious to others. Please do make your way onwards as you wish, the family look forward to greeting you there.
We’ve spoken of Jeffrey, and you’ve heard snippets of who he was and what he did. We spent time reflecting upon his life and character and we’ve also acknowledged his death and offered him a farewell. Today is only one step on your journey through grief and that journey is different for each of you. Turn to each other and speak of Jeffrey as you have always done and be sure to share the smiles as you do so.
We’ll leave to another piece by Glenn Miller, Moonlight Serenade. Please do sit and listen for a moment and gather your thoughts and, as you leave this place, may you each do so with love in your hearts and peace in your souls.
Thank you.
Music on Exit- Moonlight Serenade, Glenn Miller
Ceremony written and presented by Philip Davies, Funeral Celebrant 07421 266303